Misleading Assumptions and Mistaken Identities
by alicemayisbetter
Summary: When Tony wakes up in someone else's bed, he makes some assumptions that can have lasting repercussions. Rated T for incidents of swearing. References to M/M sex. Tibbs oneshot.


Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS, or anything associated with it.

A/N: I may or may not write a sequel to this. If I do, it probably won't be for at least another week because I am currently on vacation and have only a patchy internet connection. Thanks so much for all the positive feedback, guys!

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><p>Tony DiNozzo woke up feeling sore but extremely satisfied. He glanced around, noting that he was not, in fact, in his apartment, that he was completely naked, and that there was a very warm, very masculine body in the bed with him. Tony squinted, trying to remember who this was and how they ended up here, but all he could see was light-colored hair. He leaned forward a little more and noticed that it was close-cropped silver hair specifically.<p>

_Well, shit, DiNozzo_, he thought. He had obviously gone home with another Gibbs replacement. He hoped he'd at least called out the right name this time. Jesus, that had been embarrassing.

This was the point where he made his exit. He got up and very quickly gathered his clothes. He was putting on his socks when he heard the man behind him turn over and mumble, "Tony…"

Huh. This guy, whoever he was, even sounded like Gibbs. Tony decided to make his exit quickly before whatever man he'd picked up fully awoke and figured out that he was leaving. Tony felt that the hall and staircase he was stumbling down were oddly familiar but he was a little too hung over to really pick up on it. Whatever had happened last night, he had obviously had a little too much to drink.

Tony practically ran out the door, not wanting to face the consequences of whatever he had done last night.

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><p>On Monday morning, Tony arrived barely on time for work, as usual. He made some quip about getting lucky to McGee (because he had, even if he didn't really remember it), corrected some idiom of Ziva's (no one has ever been tongue-laced), and reclined in his chair. He knew the drill. Someone would say something compromising, Gibbs would shoot around the corner, coffee in hand, with uncanny timing, and they would all gear up to go catch some bad guys. Just another day at NCIS.<p>

It didn't quite work out that way, though. No one said anything that would get them in any kind of trouble, not even Tony; and when Gibbs arrived, his jabs didn't have quite the undertone of humor that they usually did. Gibbs seemed unusually angry about something. Tony tried to lighten the mood a little. "What's wrong boss, you couldn't find some redhead to spend the weekend with?" It was a joke with a bitter twist for Tony. Bizarrely, the fact that Tony wasn't a redhead almost made him feel worse than the fact that Gibbs was straighter than straight or that Rule Twelve was unbendable. It was just another on a long list of reasons why Gibbs would never, ever return Tony's feelings.

"DiNozzo, conference room, now," Gibbs growled angrily. Great, now he had pissed off the boss. Nothing like a good reminder of why you mean nothing to the person you love to start the day.

Gibbs, predictably, hit the emergency stop switch on the elevator almost as soon as they got inside.

"What the hell was that, DiNozzo?"

"I, uh, I'm sure you don't have any trouble picking up women, not necessarily just redheads, not that it's any of my business."

"Huh, yeah, it isn't any of your business. Not anymore, DiNozzo."

"I… what? Boss, I didn't—"

"Didn't what, DiNozzo? Didn't think? Just like you didn't think about ANYTHING this weekend, obviously, other than just getting a convenient fuck?"

"I—I'm confused, boss. What happened this weekend?"

"What HAPPENED?" Gibbs was almost incandescent with anger. Tony was pretty sure that today might finally be the day Gibbs snapped and murdered him. But why? What could possibly have… oh god. Please, no.

"You lied to me—you told me you actually had feelings for me, and like some kind of idiot, I believed you. I don't know WHAT was going through your mind when you decided it would be funny to trick me into fucking you and then run out, but I hope you being unemployed, because believe me, I will make DAMN sure you never hold a law enforcement job again. God help me, if I see you again after the end of today, I will tear you limb from limb."

"Boss, no! You're wrong! I—"

"Really? Funny, I didn't realize I was acquainted with that many Tony DiNozzos!"

"No, I mean, I never mean to run out on you, I just—I just—"

"You just what, Tony?"

"I didn't realize it was you! I woke up in your bed, I assumed you were just some guy I met in a club or something—I didn't get a good look at your face! It was dark! So I left."

"Right. Because you totally weren't fazed at all by the fact that you woke up with a MAN who looked JUST LIKE ME."

"Actually, I wasn't."

Gibbs blinked at him, flabbergasted."What?"

"I—" Tony took a deep breath. "Sometimes I'll go out to clubs, try to find men who—who look like you, sound like you. So that I can…" He couldn't meet Gibbs' eyes. "I pretend that it's you I'm sleeping with. I pretend you actually care about me, because you sure as HELL never will in real life—" He came to an abrupt stop. "Boss, are you telling me you actually have feelings for me? Just what happened?"

"Tony, you showed up at my house at midnight, drunk, miserable. I let you in, tried to figure out what was wrong. I asked if a woman had hurt you and you said, 'No. You did.' When I asked you what you meant, you told me you had feelings for me and then freaked out because you admitted it. I tried to reassure you, one thing led to another, and when I woke to up to find you gone without so much as a note and you didn't even mention it this morning, I assumed you had played me."

"God, boss, I'm… I'm so sorry, I just… I mean, rule twelve and all, I… you'll have my resignation by the end of the day." Tony turned and started the elevator again.

"The hell I will," Gibbs said fiercely as he lunged to stop the elevator. "You think that, now that I've found out I've at least got a chance with you, I'm just going to let you go?"

Tony was quietly astonished. "You've got a lot more than a chance, boss."

Gibbs smiled. "Good." There was a brief silence, and he continued, "Do you want to come over to my place again tonight, DiNozzo? You can even bring a movie or two."

Tony smiled crookedly. "I'd like that a lot, Boss."


End file.
